I Already Promised You After All
by Andramion
Summary: Based on a prompt by imaginethehaikyuukids on tumblr: Imagine Hinata going through his whole life and then waking up back in high school, only his school is Shiratorizawa, not Karasuno. Contains scenes from both the "old" life and the Shiratorizawa life. Happy ending, I promise. [Pairing: KageHina] [Angst/Fluff]


**I Already Promised You After All**

* * *

><p>Hinata! Can't you fucking watch where you're landing?"<p>

"Yes, senpai! I'm sorry senpai!" After bowing twice to the upperclassman he'd knocked into coming out of his jump, Hinata quickly runs across the gymnasium to grab the ball he was practicing with. He tries to ignore the snickers he hears from his classmates, but it's hard.

"He should just quit the team already," is said behind hands only half covering their mouths. "He's too tiny to play properly anyway."

"I don't know why he started playing volleyball in the first place."

"True, true. He still looks like a grade schooler."

"He sucks."

"If he likes volleyball so much, he should just become a manager."

_I know already,_ he thinks, glaring at the guys doing nothing but standing around and gossiping over by the net, their water bottles in hand and volleyballs tucked under their arms. _But I'm not giving up._

Before the senpai can even tell the other first years to get on with practice again, Hinata is back to his solitary routine of spiking the ball against the floor, letting it bounce off the wall and receiving it. He might not be good, but he swears he'll get there, even if it is on his own.

When the lights in the dorm are already out, he makes his way to the showers, tired from the extra practice he was doing after club hours and smelly from exertion. He checks the shower room first, but of course there is no one there. Everyone else is already in their beds, or at least in their rooms to study. Hinata is the only one who showers this late, every day, but it's nice to have the room be silent apart from the water that falls down on and around him.

He lets the warmth work its way into his muscles, lets himself relax under the water and lets the tears of frustration finally flow out.

That's his routine, that's how he deals with being the worst player at Shiratorizawa. He crops it all up until he is completely alone, away from his classmates, teammates, roommate and then lets it all out. But every night he wonders what it would be like to truly be a part of the team, to not have to cry in solitude, to not have to feel so ashamed of him not being as good as the others, to have people he can rely on, to have people supporting him.

Every night he wonders why he thinks of all those things, wonders why it feels like there is something leaving such a glaring hole in him with its absence, even if he doesn't know what – or who – that is.

And every night he towels off, dresses, squares his shoulders and walks back to his room, leaving all the tears and doubts behind in the shower room and stuffing that hole inside him with hours and hours of practice and studying, eating and sleeping and begins the routine all over again.

* * *

><p>"You know, sometimes I wonder what would have happened if you had gotten in at Shira… shira…"<p>

"Shiratorizawa," Kageyama finished for Hinata, the sigh he held in still evident in his voice. They were on their way back from practice, their second-to-last practice of high school, and the air around them was filled with a mix of nostalgia, uncertainty and sadness.

Though for Hinata, it seemed, nostalgia had won out for now.

"I'm glad you didn't," he told Kageyama, his fingers flexing around the handles of his bike. "I mean, it probably would have been nice for you, but you know…" The mood dampened when Hinata's smile faded. Kageyama didn't know what to do about it. He had never had much of a comforting personality after all.

"I know." Kageyama's voice was barely audible when he reached his right hand out and covered Hinata's with it. "I know."

"It's almost over, huh?" Kageyama watched the way Hinata turned his hand over and linked their fingers together, letting their arms fall down between them. The bike's front wheel wobbled slightly from the loss of grip on the left side. "High school… man, what a ride. I'm sad to leave the kouhai behind. And Yamaguchi. Even Tsukishima wasn't all that bad in the end. I'm gonna miss them all."

"But not me?" The words had hardly passed Kageyama's lips before he turned his head away to hide his blush. This wasn't like him, not like him at all to be so needy, to ask such stupid things.

"Hmm," Hinata considered it. "Nope." His lips popped at the p. And there it was, that uncertainty that always bubbled up inside Kageyama, that idea that Hinata was with him, for now at least, but he wouldn't be able to stop him when he spread his wings.

A tug on his arm stopped him in his tracks and he looked over his shoulder to see Hinata kick the stand of his bike out to hold it up. Then Hinata turned to him and smiled _that_ smile again, the smile that sometimes left Kageyama feeling like he'd been basking in the sunlight for too long.

"I'm not gonna miss you," Hinata repeated the earlier statement, looking around him. Then, to Kageyama's complete surprise, he closed the distance between them and pulled on Kageyama's arm at the same time. He felt a soft press against his cheek and, when he turned his head, another one to his lips.

"Hinata, we're in-"

Hinata didn't let him finish his complaint. "I'm not going to miss you, 'cause I'll have you with me all the time." Kageyama's eyes went wide. Sure, they were going to go to the same college now, having been scouted for several of the same college volleyball teams, but it wasn't like they'd be joined at the hips. Their college courses were completely different, their living arrangements on different sides of the campus. There would be new people, more people, _better people –_a voice in the back of Kageyama's mind added – and who was to say Hinata would keep putting up with him?

"Hey Kageyama," Hinata pulled him out of his thoughts. He looked down to see him having his face turned down, shuffling his feet nervously.

Kageyama's throat felt tight as he waited for Hinata to look up. "What?"

Finally, those brown eyes shifted up to meet his gaze and Hinata's chest deflated as he puffed out a breath. "I love you, Kage.. Tobio. I love you, Tobio, I love you."

And just like that, without probably even meaning to, Hinata blew away the anxiety that had been grabbing hold on Kageyama's heart for weeks now, completely obliterated it.

"I-idiot! What are you saying out here?" Kageyama pulled his hand free from Hinata's and turned away, his hands flying up to block Hinata's view of his face. He knew it wouldn't make much of a difference, knew that Hinata would know what this posture meant after dating each other for almost two years, but old habits were hard to change.

He heard a clunk next to him and turned back in time to see Hinata hop onto his bike, balancing with both feet on the pedals as he held onto the wall next to him with one hand. It seemed he had been waiting for Kageyama to look at him, just like Kageyama had before and even that little similarity, just that tiny little thing, was enough to make Kageyama's heart skip a beat.

"I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" With a grin, Hinata pushed himself away from the wall and cycled off, looking over his shoulder and waving furiously as Kageyama shouted at him to look at the road in front of him.

On his way back home, the part that was always so glaringly Hinata-less after the part they walked together, Kageyama Tobio's mind kept repeating Hinata's words again and again and again, like a broken record he never wanted to replace. **I love you, Tobio. I love you, Tobio. I love you, Tobio.**

_Yeah,_he thought to himself, snuggling into the zipped up collar of his training jacket, hiding the cheesy grin that tugged the corners of his lips up. _Me too, Shouyou. I love you, too._

* * *

><p>Hinata wipes the sweat off of his brow, looks up to the net once again. It's already dark outside, he is supposed to be closing down the gym, he is supposed to this, supposed to that, supposed to, supposed to, supposed to.<p>

He doesn't care. He wants to train, has to train, has to get better. Because if he doesn't, then there is no use to him being here at Shiratorizawa. Everyone here is good, everyone here is better than the average high school player. The regulars even more so.

During practice, Hinata often stares at the regulars, at the spikers hitting the tosses the official setter gives them. Every time he does, he wants to get in there, get into that small group of people, jump up and spike the ball as hard as he can. He wants to hit the ball so badly, wants to hit a proper toss.

Even after three months here, he isn't sure why that scout selected him. Yes, he had been playing volleyball all throughout middle school, but he didn't have any guidance or teammates. It took him three years before he was able to get a temporary team together for an official match and it was over in a blink and Hinata had been left staring at the back of the red shirts walking away from the court victorious.

Somehow the scout had seen some kind of potential in him though, he assumed, because when he got home a few days after the tournament, his mother had told him there had been a phone call from someone from a high school, offering him a spot on their volleyball team. He didn't get a scholarship, but as long as his parents covered the school fees and he kept up with the school's high academic standards, the expenses of living in the dorms would be covered by the school.

But now, Hinata is struggling. He isn't the smartest, he's known that for a long time, but he tries his best. Being in the lowest class in his year feels a bit shameful, he has to admit, but he doesn't think he would be able to put even more time into studying and still be able to train.

In the gym, he throws the ball up against the side wall hard, knowing it will bounce further up. He watches the start of the arc away from the wooden panels and bends his knees. His sneakers squeak against the floor as he pushes off into a sprint and again the moment he changes his direction from _forward_ to _up_.

_This is it, this moment, this moment, this moment._ That thought runs through his mind when his eyes fall shut automatically and he swings his arm at full speed. He feels the rush of air as the ball swishes by his face when he misses it completely. It thunks against the floor before Hinata lands. _Shit, Shouyou, you idiot,_ he thinks to himself, frowning and biting his lip. _Why do I always do that?_

"Are you just messing around?" he hears a voice say to his right and he turns around fast.

"U-Ushijima-senpai!" He bows quickly, not knowing exactly how to react. "I know I should have been clearing up, but I just wanted to practice some more before going back to the dorm!" He peeps up and sees the harsh look on the third-year's face hasn't lifted. He squeezes his eyes shut again. "I'm really sorry!"

"That's not what I mean." Ushijima doesn't speak until Hinata has straightened up again. "I could admire you for training more. I meant that spike. Your jump is good, but…" Hinata feels chills run down his spine when Ushijima repeats the earlier question. "Are you just messing around?"

"N-no! I'm not!" He doesn't know how to explain, how to make this come across better. Instead, as blood flushes his cheeks out of embarrassment and frustration, he bites his lip and keeps from making further excuses.

Ushijima bows down to pick the ball up with one hand and pushes it into Hinata's arms.

"Clear up the materials and find me again after so I can lock up, first-year." Hinata nods and bows his head again, not feeling confident enough to look Ushijima in the eyes. He sees the feet in front of him turn around and step away. The footsteps echo through the gymnasium. They halt by the door and Hinata looks up.

"Start getting serious," Ushijima says to him before turning around again. "Or just quit the team already. We don't need people who are weak."

Long after Ushijima's silhouette has disappeared, Hinata stares at the entrance of the gym, at the square of light that breaks the darkness outside.

_I am serious,_ he thinks. But how can he explain this without being branded an idiot? How can he explain that he feels that, if he just runs, if he just jumps and swings at the best of his ability, the ball will come to his hand on its own?

* * *

><p>Kageyama sighed as he basked in the warmth of his bed. Early sunlight was falling through the crack in the curtains, spilling onto the wall just above his head. <em>This is nice,<em> he thought, _this is perfect._ Limbs tangled, bodies pressed together, Hinata nibbling at his jaw, silently asking him to turn his head so they could kiss... _absolutely perfect._

"Tobio…"

Hinata's voice sounded like something in between a whisper and a sigh and Kageyama felt something stir in his stomach, felt something flutter in his chest. _Is a person allowed to receive this much happiness?_ he wondered. _Is it allowed for me to be the one to receive it from him?_

"Hmm, yes?" He shifted to put his arms around Hinata's waist, hoisted him further up his chest so he was lying down half on top of Kageyama, instead of to his side. He nuzzled the bright orange hair out of the way and pressed his lips to the curve of Hinata's eyebrow. Hinata's eyelashes tickled his chin as he blinked.

"We woke up early," Hinata announced, but Kageyama couldn't be bothered to check the alarm clock on his other side. Hinata must have been right though, because he hadn't heard his alarm go off yet. He sighed against Hinata's skin again, squeezing him against his chest. _This is really, really nice._

"Or at least, _I_ did." Hinata let out a chuckle and poked his finger against Kageyama's shoulder. "To-bioooo-chaaan." _What is he trying to do?_ Kageyama couldn't figure it out with his brain still muddled by sleep. "Mister sunshiiiiine," the singsong voice continued. "Wakey wakey."

"Don't wanna. And 'm not mister sunshine," Kageyama mumbled in response.

Another chuckle. And then Hinata's hair tickled his nose when he moved his head, craning his neck and trailing soft kisses along Kageyama's jaw.

"Wake up, To-bi-o," he said, a syllable in between every press of his lips and Kageyama couldn't help turning his face so as to leave more of his neck open or Hinata to explore. "We have practice in three hours," Hinata noted. Kageyama didn't know why. Of course they had practice that morning, but why would he bring that up now? If they still had three hours, that meant the alarm wouldn't go off for another hour and a half.

"We can sleep more," he started to complain, not wanting to wake up fully. He liked this: just drifting in that place between asleep and awake, with Hinata tucked into his arms. "Come sleep with me some more."

"I mean to." Kageyama woke up a little more at the tone in Hinata's voice when he said that. He felt Hinata lift himself off of him a little, resting his forearms on Kageyama's chest to keep himself up.

"But we have practice in three hours," Kageyama uttered, surprised. "You're still not satisfied, even after last night?"

"Yesterday was yesterday, today is today." Hinata leaned down to suck lightly on the skin stretched over Kageyama's collarbone before he sat up completely, straddling Kageyama's hips. "And we have some time."

And as he did more often than not, Kageyama let himself be dragged into Hinata's pace, waking slowly on a Saturday morning, in the warmth of their bed and the touches of fingertips dragged across his skin.

* * *

><p>"That's it for the regulars. Now as for the reserve players!"<p>

Hinata shifts on his feet, his hands turning into fists and spreading out, over and over again, behind his back. There would only be six reserve players for the spring tournament. Six. Four down, two more possibilities.

"And number twelve, Yoshimoto Kaoru. That's it." The coach claps his hands to round up the meeting. "Everyone that hasn't been chosen to play, thank you for your hard work. Please get back to the second gym for your practice. Regulars and reserves, you stay here, we're going to go through the opponents."

Around him, everyone shouts a reply and people start filing out of the first gym. _Again,_ Hinata thinks,_I didn't make it_**_again._** Frustration is tightening up his muscles, but somehow he finds a way to make his legs move. Almost a year of hard work, hell, four years of hard work, and he still can't make it onto the team.

He's almost out of the gym when he hears his name being called by the coach.

"Hinata, come here for a second!" He feels his nails dig into his hands when he tightens his fists, but he breathes out and relaxes before he turns around and jogs over.

"Yes, sir?"

The coach doesn't look up from his clipboard, just rifles through some of the papers on it.

"You've been doing well these last couple of months. You've been getting help from Shiroyama during training, right?"

Hinata glances over at the second-year middle blocker standing next to Ushijima. "Thank you, coach. And yes, sir, I have."

"Keep going the way you are and you'll be playing in the In High this summer. We could use someone with your athleticism after we lose the few third years that are still playing."

"Really?" Hinata can feel his eyes growing wide, can feel the smile creep onto his face even though he tries to suppress it. This isn't the time to celebrate yet, he knows that, he still has a way to go and the coach only said 'if you keep going the way you are', but it's more than he had to look forward to for over a year. "Really, coach? Thank you! I'll do my best!"

The older man gives him a look that Hinata _thinks_ might be amused, before his stern expression comes back. "Just make sure to keep your test score average up to par, or you won't be allowed to represent the school. You can go now."

"Yes, sir! Thank you, coach!" Hinata bows before he turns on his heels and runs out the gymnasium in a straight line to practice.

Later that night, after he comes back to the dorm, showers and falls onto his bed, Hinata grabs his phone and scrolls down to the K, ready to send out a text, when he realises he doesn't know who he was going to tell. He stares at his phone, at the contacts listed under K, but none of them are people he talks to regularly, none of them are people he would tell about something like this.

So who was he thinking of when he scrolled down to that letter? He shakes his head and puts his phone on sleep mode again. Then he yawns and stretches out on the sheets. His shirt rides up his stomach as he raises his arms above his head, but he ignores it and closes his eyes.

Somehow, the excitement of the news has already died down, lessened by the day's practice and the knowledge that he actually still has to do his homework for tomorrow. He needs to work more, he realises, he needs more time. _Why did I think an elite school like this was a good idea?_ he wonders, reaching out to turn off his bedside lamp. He'll do his homework tomorrow morning.

For a second, before he falls asleep completely, he would swear he can hear someone complain about him leaving his stomach bare, could swear he feels something warm and soothing run up his skin, like fingers caressing his sides and the weight of a body settling on the mattress beside him.

In the morning, he throws his tear-stained pillow cover in the laundry basket, before his roommate can see it and he has to explain why he was crying over a dream he can hardly remember.

* * *

><p>"Onii-chan, what are we doing?" Natsu asked, for the millionth time. "Can't you take the blindfold off already?" Hinata just shushed her, grinned up at Kageyama. He felt a little out of place there. Even though he'd known Hinata's little sister for over eight years now too, he still wasn't completely comfortable communicating with her. It was easier with Hinata's parents, he was good in being formal.<p>

Natsu, on the other hand, had started out by calling him Kageyama-san, changed it to Kageyama-nii-san and now insisted on using the shorter Kage-nii every time she spoke to him. He didn't really _mind_, it was more just… strange. Strange and unusual and out of his comfort zone, but also endearing and to be honest, quite a compliment that Natsu didn't mind her brother being together with him.

Not everyone in this country was so understanding.

"Kage-nii! Help me!" she cried out, dragging Kageyama out of his thoughts and even he couldn't help the smile that tugged at his lips.

"Shouyou has a surprise for you, just wait a bit longer. You siblings are exactly alike, you know, can't wait at all."

"Like you're mister patience." Hinata pouted as he pushed Natsu's back, guiding her through the door Kageyama held open. "You coming in too?"

Kageyama hesitated. "They won't like me."

"How come?"

"They never do. Never did. Don't you remember that time in high school when I tried to get close to that cat?"

Hinata's shoulders shook for second before he managed to put a straight face on again. "You mean the time you ended up with scratches all over your face?" Natsu was a little less good at keeping her laughter in and Kageyama's ears turned red at the sound of her giggles.

"Shut up," Kageyama mumbled, more out of habit than actual annoyance.

"Come on, Tobio, they'll love you. Your face was much scarier back then." Hinata turned in the direction they were walking again and gave Natsu's back another tap. "You've kind of mellowed out, you know," he added.

"My face wasn't scary." Still, Kageyama felt a little more confident at Hinata's words – just a little – and followed the siblings inside.

"It smells funny in here," Natsu noted when she and Kageyama were standing in the entrance hall. Hinata was talking to the receptionist behind the counter, their voices low enough that Natsu wouldn't be able to hear what they were saying.

"It doesn't." _How am I going to make sure she doesn't figure it out before we get in there?_ Kageyama thought, running scenarios through his mind as fast as he could. He was sure that he only needed to make one small mistake for Natsu to figure out what was going on. Actually, he wouldn't be surprised if she'd already figured it out from that short conversation he and Hinata had just had about the cat. Natsu was sharper than her brother after all. _Taller too,_ Kageyama thought with a snort.

"What's so funny?" two voices chimed in synch. Kageyama swore the siblings could have been twins, despite their nine year age difference. Hinata could still pass for a high schooler, but besides that, they had the same shock of orange hair, the same thousand watt smile, the same curious eyes and the same temperament.

"Nothing. They're calling us over." He gestured at the lady holding the door to the next room over and both he and Hinata put their hands under one of Natsu's elbows automatically.

"I can walk with one guide, you know," Natsu commented and Kageyama would have let go if she hadn't continued right after. "But I kind of like this."

The room was silent – for now at least – and they sat Natsu down on the ground. She folded her legs under her, waiting for whatever the surprise was. The door closed behind them and Kageyama held the ends of Natsu's blindfold between his thumbs and index fingers.

"Ready?" Hinata asked her, then glanced at Kageyama, grinning from ear to ear in excitement.

"Ready."

Kageyama nodded that he was ready too and he tugged on the blindfold. It fell away at the same time Hinata opened the other door wide and a cacophony of excited wails and high pitched barks entered the room.

Kageyama leaned back against the wall in one the corners, watched as Natsu's eyes grew big and a smile crossed her face as a litter of puppies ran straight into her, wagging their tails excitedly. Hinata joined his sister on the floor and both of them grinned at each other.

"I love it, onii-chan! This is the best gift ever!"

"That's not all." Natsu turned her upper body so she could look at Kageyama, a question in her eyes. "You-"

"You get to pick one! Surprise!" Hinata held his arms out wide, complete with jazz-hands.

"DUMBASS HINATA! DON'T TALK OVER ME!" Kageyama immediately exploded, the old insult slipping out automatically as he stomped over as fast as he could with puppies running around his feet. "I was gonna tell her!" He missed the first time he grabbed at Hinata's head, but managed to get a good grip the second time.

"I can't help that you were too slow! Ow, that hurts!"

"Hey! Hey! I'm a Hinata too, Kage-nii!"

"Eh?" He thought that over for a second. "Oh, sorry. Well, anyway…" He let go of Hinata's hair and looked at the way all the puppies had moved over to the other side of the room as soon as he strode over. "We already cleared it with your parents, so you get to take one home. Shouyou and I are paying."

"Congratulations on your middle school graduation, Natsu," Hinata said, getting up from the ground behind Kageyama's legs and walking over to Natsu. Kageyama sat down in his place when Hinata picked one of the pups up and cuddled it close to his chest.

"I wish we could take one home too," he murmured.

"They're not allowed in the apartment."

"I know, but still."

"It wouldn't be practical."

"_I know, but still._"

"It-" Kageyama stopped when he felt something warm against his hand. When he looked at what was causing the sensation, his heart nearly stopped and he held his breath.

There was a puppy cuddling up to him, licking his hand and putting its tiny little paws on his shoe. He looked at Hinata.

"Shouyou, look." Hinata nodded, urging him on and with a shaking hand, Kageyama reached out to the puppy's head. His breath fled his lungs when his fingers touched the soft fur and an unbelieving grin came up on his face. He was able to pet this dog. This dog had come over to him and was letting him pet it. "Shouyou, look, _look._"

"I know."

"I want that one."

Two pairs of eyes flitted up to look at Natsu. "I want that one," she repeated, pointing at the puppy that had now completely climbed up on Kageyama's lap. "I want the one that likes Kage-nii too."

Kageyama and Hinata looked at each other in surprise, then both looked back at Natsu, who was smiling sheepishly. "Well, that means I can take it with me when I visit your place, right?"

* * *

><p>"Are you okay?" Shiroyama asks Hinata, patting the younger player on his back softly. Hinata is just glad that his teammate is there with him.<p>

"Yeah," he utters, "just… nervous."

"Right, this is your first official match right? In high school I mean? Debuting in your first In High match in second year. I'm glad I got that out of the way in my first year." He pats Hinata a few more times, until Hinata straightens his back and runs the tap to clean the sink of his spit. He hasn't thrown up, but he thought it was a good idea to stay there until he was sure he wouldn't.

"Thank you, senpai." Hinata puts on a smile, as good and as bad as that goes and he bows his head a little. "For all the help during practice too. I know you could have spent your time better than on me."

"Don't sweat it." A self-deprecating smile meets Hinata when he looks up again. "I'm not a regular anyway. But you're amazing, Hinata, you managed to get there, all the way from the bottom. You worked hard."

That makes Hinata feel even more awkward. He doesn't really know how to react, to both the compliment and Shiroyama putting himself down. He feels he's stolen his spot, feels like he should be the one permanently in the warm-up zone while Shiroyama plays. But at the same time, he wants to stand on that court, to play with his teammates, to do his school proud, to show that even a short player like him can play well. So instead of going into it, he thanks Shiroyama again and his upperclassman suggests they go back to the team.

"What's the team we're playing today called again?" he asks when they are halfway down the hall. He looks up at Shiroyama – _always looking up,_ he grumbles inwardly – and waits for an answer.

"Hmm, what are they called again? I know they're not _very_ good. Or at least, they weren't. I don't know about now. We haven't played them before. But they got through the first round easily, won in two straight sets. Their libero is amazing. The setter is good too."

Hinata perks up at the sound of the word _setter_ as he always does, even if he doesn't know why. He's come to terms with the fact that he has these strange habits, these thoughts he can't explain. This flare of curiosity whenever the position is brought up is just one of those things. _Just a_**_thing_**_,_ Hinata reminds himself.

They walk past a vending machine and Shiroyama offers to treat Hinata to a drink, to settle his stomach, but Hinata promises he will pay his senpai back when they get back to the dorms. Picking a drink isn't _that_ hard, not really. It's just that there's this particular brand of milk mixed in between the cartons of fruit juice and it catches Hinata's attention. _Another_**_thing_**_,_he thinks. There have been a lot of **things** that day already. He makes himself look away from the milk box – _he doesn't even_**_like_**_milk_ – and presses the button for orange-mango juice, nice and thick and sure to make his stomach stop jumping around like an acrobat.

After he finishes the drink, they walk into the gymnasium, spot the fuchsia on the otherwise white Shiratorizawa track uniforms and break into a jog to join the rest of the team. Hinata glances over at the other side of the court and he can't suppress a little sound of awe.

"Completely black track suits, how cool."

"Their uniforms are black and orange," one of his teammates points out and Hinata follows his gaze to one of the players that has shed their track suit already. He squints when his vision goes a little blurry.

"Those colours would mesh much better with your hair, Hinata," Shiroyama jokes, referring to how awful the combination of his orange hair and the white-and-fuchsia Shiratorizawa uniform is.

Hinata is still staring at the head of black hair above the collar of that uniform when the coach tells them to start warming up. He can't help but feel there is something familiar about it.

It keeps distracting him, all throughout warm-up, all throughout the coach's speech before the match, even when he stands on the court, his back turned to have his number taken. His eyes flit from him, _the setter_ he realises, to the other team members, but none of the others pull his attention to them as much as number 6 does.

He has the urge to step off the court, for the first time in his life, so he can check the list of names of the other team, to see who this number 6 is, who this guy with the icy glare and hard-set mouth is.

Then the whistle blows and Hinata looks up to see the ball arch from behind him, over the net and down on the other side. _It's gonna hit,_ he thinks, because Yamanaka is good at serving and getting service aces. But then the tiny libero, completely dressed in orange, dives for the ball and it's back up in the air. Their setter doesn't even need to move far to get to where the ball comes down.

He jumps, nearly blocks the ball when it's spiked, but his fingers bend backwards with the force and he shouts out an apology as his teammate needs to cover his mistake, receiving the ball outside the court's lines.

As soon as he lands, he runs back to make space for him to speed up for his jump. He shouts the setter's name, gets a look in response and breaks into a sprint. It's a relief when he hears the ball hit the court on the other side of the net.

"Okay! First point!" the captain calls out and he pats Hinata on the head, though Hinata doesn't notice it. He's too busy staring back at the other team's setter, too busy trying to figure out where he's seen him before, why he feels like he _knows_ this person. _Is this a_**_thing _**_too?_ He hasn't had a person be a **thing** before.

"Hinata?" At the sound of his name, he shakes his head and looks for the person who called it. "Get into position," he is told and he nods quickly. _What am I doing? I'm finally on the court, I need to pay attention._

The whistle blows again and Yamanaka's ball hits the back line, barely in. With the next serve, the other team scores. He watches the people on the side-line turn the score over and squints to read the characters above the other team's score. _Tori… Torino?_

He shrugs, bends his knees to create some flexibility in his stance, ready to receive if needed. The serve is fast, but not that hard and Shiratorizawa's libero yells to claim the ball. He returns it to the setter and Hinata runs again, ready to jump when he needs to. He sees the tall middle blocker from the other team mirror his movement and supresses a smile. The wing spiker on the left spikes the ball right through the two person block on the other side.

It doesn't take long for Shiratorizawa to take the lead and win the first set. Proud of their performance already, Hinata is all smiles when they gather by the bench for a short water break. He nibbles on the mouthpiece of his water bottle while the coach talks to them, nodding at the instructions.

"Lastly… Hino, I want to you toss to Hinata more, they're going to stop blocking him otherwise."

"Yes, sir!"

Hinata turns to watch the other team, that's making full use of their three minute break to discuss strategy probably.

"Do you think Torino has a trick up their sleeves?" he asks no one in particular.

"Torino?" Yamanaka repeats after him and Hinata points at the other team as he takes another sip of his water. "It's **Karasu**no, idiot. And no, I don't."

"Kara…" Hinata's voice gets stuck in his throat halfway through pronouncing the name. _It's a_**_thing_**_,_Hinata thinks, _another_**_thing_**. There have been too many of them already today. Suddenly, his head feels like the time he was hiking with his father, up high in the mountains, and the air had started to get thin. His gaze is pulled back to Karasuno's number 6, their black-haired setter, and without even having to check the list, Hinata's mind produces the name: Kageyama. Kageyama _Tobio._ Another **thing**, another **thing**.

"Hinata, you okay? Hinata?"

"Hmm? Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine." He doesn't take his eyes off of the setter when he places his water bottle back with the other ones, not when he walks up to the court and shows his number again. He triest to look away when he is supposed to watch the person serving on the other team, but it's hard not to watch him.

_Why do I know his name?_ Hinata wonders, _why? Where have I met you before?_ He tries to remember, tries to think at the same time he runs and jumps around the court, tries to figure out if there is some explanation for the fact that he knows Kageyama Tobio's name and why his brain keeps whispering to him that it's a little more _Tobio_ and a little less _Kageyama_.

The next time Hino tosses to him, he misses the ball completely and Hino frowns at him, at the expression on his face and Hinata knows it, he knows something is wrong and he is letting it affect his play and he shouldn't. He apologises profusely and after saying he can still play, the captain gives him the benefit of the doubt with a "don't mind" and another pat on the head.

The score is 22-18 for Shiratorizawa when Karasuno's libero makes another miraculous save and the ball comes straight over to Shiratorizawa's side, just above the net. Hinata sees Kageyama's leg muscles flex and before he realises it, he has jumped up at the net too, his teammates shouting for him to push it back over the net.

It's when he levels with Kageyama, comes eye-to-eye with him, their fingertips on the ball and both pushing against it, that Hinata decides he must have jumped up against a wall, because he imagines leaning forward, past the net and planting his lips on Kageyama's. For a second he hesitates and he feels his hands being pushed back, feels his grip on the ball slipping and then he is falling down, the ball being received behind him.

He makes up for it by dashing as soon as he hits the floor, his sneakers adding to the noise in the gymnasium, to the loud, continuous squeaking of rubber on polished wood. He jumps. He spots the hole in the defence and spikes the ball down, slamming it onto the floor with a hard thud.

When he walks back to his position, he glances at Kageyama, who is staring at him intently, his mouth set in a straight line and for a second Hinata thinks a smile looks much better on him. _He can smile so nicely, after all._

Then Kageyama speaks, says something to him in a gruff voice. "I'm not losing to you."

"Very mature, King," the middle blocker tells Kageyama, his voice flat and the comment clearly meant to annoy, but Hinata doesn't hear the rest of it, doesn't hear anything else Tsukishima says, because suddenly there's a barrage of images and sounds and sensations flooding him and he's drowning right in the middle of them.

There's a whole team of players clapping Hinata on the back. Tanaka and Noya grinning at him. Sugawara-senpai and Asahi-senpai and the captain, Sawamura, along with Shimizu-senpai, smiling with tears in their eyes as they wave their high school diploma's at the rest of the team. There's Ennoshita taking on the job of captain, Narita and Kinnoshita becoming regulars, Yamaguchi crying after hitting his first pinch serve _just_ right, Tsukishima _smiling, smiling for god's sake,_ when he hands out flyers to recruit new players for the team. There's Yachi helping him get through his lessons, teaching him how to take notes better to make it easier on him.

And then there's Kageyama, saying he likes Hinata, saying sorry, saying _I'm so, so sorry, can we please pretend this never happened?_ with a pained look on his face and turning away, but Hinata stops him, tugs on his arm to turn him back around. There's Kageyama's face coming closer, their lips pressing together and not coming apart for a good few minutes.

There's Kageyama, no _Tobio, he wants to call him Tobio, but is that okay? Would that be allowed?_, who blushes over ridiculous things now that they're dating, who shouts at him right after Hinata tells him _I love you, Tobio, I love you._

There's the times they grumble about living too far apart, the times they sneak into each other's rooms late at night in order not to wake the other's housemates, the times they spend the night sleeping next to each other and the times they spend the night sleeping _with_ each other.

So many touches, kisses, whispers, words and Hinata can't handle them, can't handle them at all. He can't stand the images of them moving in together, of Natsu's puppy chewing on Kageyama's house slippers and Kageyama chasing it around the coffee table. He can't stand seeing the smile on Kageyama's face when they hear from the national team, inviting them both to join it, inviting them both to be potential players on the Japanese Olympic volleyball team.

He can't stand it because he knows it's not true, it can't be, and if it is, it's a cruel, cruel joke that life is playing on him, because there Kageyama is, right in front of him, but on the other side of the net.

Right within reach, but not his, not his, not his to reach out to at all.

* * *

><p>"Hinata. Hinata. Hi-na-ta. Hinata Shouyou. Hi-nata Shouyou."<p>

Kageyama frowned when he heard Hinata's voice drift out of the bedroom. They'd both taken their showers already and Hinata had said he wanted to pack a few last things before they went to bed. They were going to be away for a while after all. The Summer Olympics weren't over in a day.

So Kageyama had stepped into the kitchen, fixing them both some warm tea, when he heard Hinata. _What on earth is he doing?_ He quietly walked over to the door, which was slightly ajar, and breathed as softly as he could in order to catch the rest of what Hinata was saying.

"Hinata Shouyou," he said once more, before moving on. "Kageyama Tobio. Kageyama." Something made a crackly noise, like paper being wrinkled up or flattened out, and then Kageyama heard a soft thud.

"Kageyama. Ka-ge-ya-ma. Kage-yama. Kageyama Tobio. Tobio. Tooooobio. Tobio, Tobio, Tobio."

_Why do you keep repeating our names, idiot?_ Kageyama wanted to scream at him, but he didn't want to come out, didn't want Hinata to see how impossibly red his ears had grown from him calling his first name so often. He didn't think it could get any more embarrassing, but it seemed he thought wrong, because the next few words nearly had him passing out from sudden shyness.

"Hinata Tobio. Hmm. Kageyama Shouyou." Soft chuckles filled the air in the bedroom, but Kageyama wasn't paying enough attention to be able to appreciate the light sound of them. He was too busy sliding down the wall until he was seated on the floor, holding his head in his hands and trying to keep from freaking out.

_Who does that?_ he ranted, all in his head. _Who on earth does that? Why is he swapping our last names? What is this? Shouyou, damn you, you idiot, what are you doing to me?_ He let out a strangled sound and suddenly there were pounding footsteps and the door swinging open and Hinata knelt down next to him, fussing over what could be wrong.

"Tobio! Tobio, what's wrong? What do I do?" Hinata touched his shoulder carefully, lightly. Kageyama couldn't make himself look up, there was no way he could. "Does it hurt? What do I do? Tobio, talk to me. What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" Kageyama managed to get out of his throat. "Are you trying to kill me?" His head shot up – not that hard after all – and he wiped at his eyes, even though he knew he couldn't hide his tears, his blush, nor the smile that was starting to hurt his cheeks now.

"Huh? You're smiling?" Hinata released the breath he'd been holding and let himself fall back until he was sitting on the floor. He pulled his legs under him and looked up from under his still damp hair, a nervous look on his face. "Did you hear me? Just before I mean?"

"I heard… something," Kageyama admitted and Hinata's face fell a bit. "I heard names."

"That's good! That's good! You didn't hear anything then!" Hinata stood up, strolled back into the bedroom and Kageyama followed after him, curious of what Hinata was trying to hide.

"I heard you… swap our family names," he decided to let Hinata know. He watched Hinata's back stiffen, his hands stilling right in the middle of putting whatever he was holding away. "Why did you do that?"

They were both quiet for a while, Kageyama trying to be patient so Hinata would answer, Hinata trying to get out of answering at all. Eventually, Hinata sighed and turned around, holding a small box in his hand.

"You know, this was meant to be a surprise." He walked over to Kageyama and grabbed his hands, placing the box in one of them and the other hand over the lid. "But well, seems you caught me already." He breathed in deep. Then out again. In.

"As you know, we're going to be in Toronto, Canada for the next eight weeks and we'll have some free time as well."

"We're going for volleyball, not for sightseeing," Kageyama interrupted and Hinata glared at him.

"Shut up for a minute, will you, I'm trying to be romantic."

Kageyama's eyes widened. "Romantic?"

"Well, as you know…" Hinata swallowed thickly. "I love you."

"I love y-"

"I said shut up, let me finish before I lose my nerve! I LOVE YOU AND… I looked some things up… about Canada… and you know that over there…" Hinata's voice broke a little and he cleared his throat. "Over there it's allowed for… a man… and a man… to marry."

Kageyama felt like his heart was going to give out any moment.

"And I know we still won't be legally married in Japan, but I think it'd be nice… I would like for us to be married in the eyes of whatever country we can be. So… so that's why I was swapping our names. I wanted to know what it sounded like."

Finally, Hinata looked up from their hands and looked straight into Kageyama's eyes. "What do you think?"

"I think you forgot the most important question," Kageyama managed to get out, tapping his finger on the box and Hinata's eyes grew wide. He opened the little box and now Kageyama knew what that little thud from before had been.

Inside the box, squeezed between bits of blue velvet, were two shiny, silver rings. _So he remembered I don't like gold,_ was the first thought that popper into Kageyama's mind. The second one was:_They're really pretty._ Simple, not too flashy, exactly how Kageyama would have picked them.

"Kageyama Tobio," Hinata started and Kageyama pried his gaze away from the rings to look into Hinata's eyes. "I promise I will always stay with you, that I will never, ever leave you."

_Just like that,_ Kageyama thinks, remembering the way Hinata had dispelled all of his anxiety with just a _I love you_ years ago too.

"Tobio, will you do me the honour of marrying me and becoming my husband?"

"Yes," Kageyama answered immediately and for once he was sure his own smile was bigger than the grin on Hinata's face. "Of course, dumbass."

* * *

><p><em>Married, we were fucking married,<em> Hinata thinks, his hands in his hair as he sits on the bench, not even watching as Shiroyama plays the rest of the match in his stead. Instead, whenever his eyes do stray from the floor between his feet, he glances at Kageyama, at the way his body moves when he plays volleyball and he remembers the way it felt to hit that toss of his. _Remembers,_ he is sure, because nothing is going to convince him that these **things** are anything other than memories.

They're too vivid, too real for them to be something he conjured up himself. There are too many things that he remembers that are correct, even now. He has checked Karasuno's name list. Kageyama Tobio, Ennoshita Chikara, Nishinoya Yuu, Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Tsukishima Kei, Yamaguchi Tadashi, Kinnoshita Hisashi, Narita Kazuhito, even Takeda-sensei. He remembers too many of the names right for this to be a coincidence. He even recognises some of the first-years' names, first-years' that had joined the volleyball team in the _other whatever-it-is_too.

But there is no Yachi Hitoka listed as manager and Hinata knows why. He hadn't been at Karasuno to tell Shimizu-senpai about Yachi. He hadn't been at Karasuno to convince her. Tiny little things are different: the way Kageyama holds himself, the fact that Yamaguchi is a starting player and not a pinch server with a jump float serve. After all, Ukai Keishin isn't their coach, Ukai has never brought the neighbourhood team to play them.

Hinata watches this _other_ Karasuno play while he wonders whether Sugawara and Asahi and Sawamura stayed after last year's Inter High. He hadn't even seen Karasuno there, so intently focussed on watching Shiratorizawa's matches and figuring out how to be able to stand there the next year.

Where had things changed? Where had it gone wrong this time, _what_ had gone wrong this time around that he isn't there with Kageyama now, playing with him, fighting alongside him?

He hadn't gone to Karasuno. He'd planned to, after seeing the little giant on the television, but after getting the offer from Shiratorizawa, he'd decided to go there instead. Is that his mistake? Choosing Shiratorizawa? Or was it some time before that?

He hadn't played Kitagawa Daiichi back in middle school. He hadn't lost to Kitagawa Daiichi, he had lost to the people in the red jackets, but he'd played well enough to be noticed, to be scouted.

Is that all it is? The luck of the draw in a middle school tournament? Is that all his relationship with Kageyama comes down to? To an old man grabbing slips of paper from a box and picking a different one than before? Hinata feels like finding and strangling the man for making such a stupid mistake.

Shiratorizawa beats Karasuno to 25 points in the second set too, the point lost when Hinata collapsed earlier easily recovered. His teammates help carry him to the dressing room, keep him up while his legs feel like jelly, but even with this, even with all this support, Hinata can't help but think _they aren't my teammates, they aren't supposed to be my teammates._

He feels like crying, feels like letting all of his frustration out right there, but this is not the time, this is not the place, because he has promised himself he will only cry when he is alone in the shower room back in the dorm, because that's what he does when these feelings of _missing something_ become too much. The fact that he now knows what that something is doesn't change that.

But that night, he doesn't get to cry, because his roommate has been instructed to keep an eye on him. That night, he doesn't get to _grieve_ for all these things he's not even sure he's _lost_ or _never had_.

The next morning, he still picks himself up, jogs around the campus twice and then over to the gymnasium. He doesn't get to play as a regular for the rest of the Inter High, out of _health concerns_ the coach has, but he trains his ass off to get better.

On the weekends, he works a part-time job into his schedule, walking dogs because he misses Natsu's dog. He doesn't make a lot, but by the end of May, his third year in high school, he has saved up enough to go to that little jeweller's in Karasuno's hometown and buy that box of blue velvet and silver rings and he hangs them on a necklace he keeps under his shirt at all times.

By the time the In High rolls around – his _last tournament_, Hinata scoffs, thinking of the way his Karasuno senpai stuck around – Hinata feels like he's turned out a lot different than the third-year Hinata that played on a team with Kageyama, the one that got to kiss and hug Kageyama Tobio. A lot more cynical, a little less hopeful and a lot less cheerful.

Still, he also knows he turned out to be a pretty decent volleyball player in the end, even without Kageyama, but it's not something he wants to think about. If it hadn't been for Kageyama, he wouldn't have all these memories of coaches giving him oceans of information on how to get better, of physical trainers and Olympic matches and everything he spent that other life doing, all of it influencing the volleyball he can play now.

They don't get to play Karasuno. Though they aren't known as flightless crows anymore either, they don't make it past the third round and Shiratorizawa comes up on top of the Miyagi prefecture again. Hinata decides he can't stay the rest of the school year, but at least he can try to keep it up until the fall tournament. If he's honest about it, he just wants a good excuse to see Kageyama again.

And he gets it, because right after his first match at the fall tournament at the end of October, a university scout walks up to him and asks whether they can speak. Hinata lets his coach know, follows the man to a dressing room and stops in his tracks when he sees Kageyama sitting on one of the benches there.

"Yo," Kageyama greets him and Hinata swallows thickly before he says hello back, trying to keep his cool. He sits down opposite Kageyama, turning towards the scout. He is about to ask a question when the scout starts to speak.

"As you both know, I am here to scout you for my university." He shows his card again, even though Kageyama and Hinata are both holding one in their hands. "I asked you both to come here at the same time, because I see a lot of potential in the two of you and I think you'd make a pretty good basis for a team. What do you think?"

Hinata doesn't look at Kageyama immediately, wants to hear his reply first, but then he can't stand the tug of curiosity anymore and looks anyway.

"I don't know," Kageyama admits, "I don't know the guy, so I don't know. But I'd like to go to university and this one has been on my preference list."

Hinata knows that, he knows that, because it's the university they have both already gone to, the university where Kageyama did some kind of course on physical fitness and physiotherapy that Hinata wasn't even sure was an actual thing, even after being married for the guy for decades. The university where Hinata did a course on nutrition, after which he went on to a cooking school.

"Same for me," Hinata answers, though it's not true, not true at all. The first time around, he went there because it had a course he liked, it had a volleyball team, which he liked, and it was going to have Kageyama Tobio, who he definitely liked. This second time around, it has been on his list in the vain hope that Kageyama would be going there even without them choosing to go together.

"Well, it's good that you're both up for it. If we could exchange contact information, I'll get in touch with you and your parents shortly to explain the details. Please make sure to think the offer through before then."

Five months later, when he steps through the entrance of the university's gymnasium, a grin spreads out across his face at the sight of Kageyama already there, dressed in loose jogging trousers and a hoodie Hinata would recognise any time because it's his favourite to steal from Kageyama's drawers and borrow.

_This is where we begin,_ Hinata thinks to himself as he walks over to Kageyama to introduce himself, to someone he's known for more than a lifetime. _This is where we begin._

And they do, and it takes time, more than Hinata had imagined beforehand, but slowly, all the pieces fall into place.

Kageyama tries to hit his head when he first introduces the idea of this 'freak quick', but Hinata already knows how to dodge it.

They don't sneak into each other's rooms during college, not the first year anyway, but after Hinata gets sick of waiting for Kageyama to confess and just does it himself, they start going out.

They set a low pace at first, but as time goes by, they seem to catch up to that other life faster and faster and the night before they are supposed to leave for Toronto, Hinata holes himself up in the bedroom and giggles before pulling the necklace out from under his shirt and putting the rings back into the box, chanting their names over and over again before switching their surnames around.

He hears a thud in the hallway and tries to suppress his smile, tries to express the worry he is supposed to show when he finds Kageyama curled in on himself in the hallway.

He lets Kageyama follow him back into the bedroom, turns around and pushes the box into his hands. He tells Kageyama he won't ever leave him, tells him they'll stay together forever and asks him to marry him.

But he doesn't wait for the 'dumbass' to leave completely leave Kageyama's mouth before he pulls him down and presses their lips together, hungry, so hungry for their happy ending that it isn't until much later, both worn out and curled up together in bed, that they catch their breaths again and Kageyama gets to ask him that question Hinata knew was coming.

"Will you really stay with me forever, Shouyou?"

And instead of 'I promise', Hinata can't help pressing a kiss to Kageyama's ear and whispering:

"I already promised you after all."


End file.
